You are so Dumb
by omgomgomgOMFG
Summary: okay. YAOI. SHOUNEN AI. NARUSASU SASUNARU. AU. SLIGHT OOC. RATED FOR CURSING AND ODD THEMES. OOC WILL BE EXPLAINED. happy ne? yes. read please? real plot and dark stuff starts around ch 6
1. Chapter 1

A/N…… OKAY. I SUCK. Its ooc (itll be explained…) And…I just lose. I don't own the characters either. I just love there little minds.

start

"Hey Sasuke, want to go to the mall later? We're all gon'na meet, and see a movie... So you in?"

Sasuke stared at the boy in front of him asking him to go to one of the group … "things" his friends often did. He was a little surprised he was being askedto participate. Kiba nudged him after a few seconds of no answer.

"Well?"

"Yeah… no thanks, don't want to ruin it or anything." Kiba faulted. How would he _ruin_ it?

"Well, whatever…" Kiba made a displeased face. "See you later." He walked away with a bit of crest fallen look on his face, but it didn't bother Sasuke in the slightest.

The black haired boy sighed. He almost regretted saying no, but somehow he knew if he said yes he'd of regret it more. _Wow, I'm damn selfish… whatever. _He boy blinked a few times, and grabbed his things. He was held up by Kiba for his class, and now if he didn't hurry he had a chance of being late.

"Great…" He walked fairly quickly to his first class; science. _Joy_. It wasn't so much the subject as it was the class… and the teacher.

Sasuke put his hand on he doorknob, and just then, the bell rang. "Oh fuckers." He made a face and walked in, expecting to be yelled at that second.

"Uchiha, do you have a pass?"

"No." The teacher looked at him intensely, not even glaring. It grated at Sasuke's nerves.

"Well." She handed him a slip. A "Special Report". _What the fuck. Special Report. Makes it sound like I did something, cough, cough, SPECIAL?… or maybe they think I'm retarded?_

Sasuke gave the teacher a sideways look, earning himself another one of the odd stares and something about "watching it". He didn't respond to this and took his seat. At the front of the class based on the seating chart. _Ooh… today is not going to be fun… I can tell…_

"Alright… Everyone get into partners." You could tell, probably from the next room how shocking this was to the class. _Since when did we do fun partner projects in Ms. Hitler's class?_ "Ill pass out the packets for your projects when everyone's in there groups."

The students shuffled about and talked loudly, obviously excited. Sasuke stared at the few people he could bear being partnered with get together with someone else and got a little sad. _Stop being angsty…_

"What, you don't have a partner?_" _Sasuke jumped. The freaking teacher was right behind him, almost breathing down his neck.

"No." He responded with as few words as possible.

The teacher did the stare again. _Goddamnit… Stoppit…_ "Alright, you'll be with Naruto, he has no partner either." With that she put on a fake, sickening smile and walked away. Sasuke blinked. "Naruto?… okay…" He looked around the room for this Naruto, and then when he saw him, he remembered him immediately. He was the kid who always looked a bit raggedy in an oddly fashionable way. Everyone loved him, and he laughed a lot. Loud. "Great." Sasuke got up and walked towards the Naruto guy. A thought then occurred to him. _… He's popular I wonder why he has no partner. Huh._

Before he could finish the thought he reached the blonde, and plopped down. _heh, time to act pissy. _

"Yeah?" Naruto looked up curiously at Sasuke.

"Ms. Hitler wanted me to be your partner." Naruto blinked.

"Okay. Sasuke yeah?" The blonde grinned widely.

"Yes." _How's he know my name?… whatever, everyone does right?_

"Alright, I'm Naruto!"

"I know." He looked a bit annoyed at this for a millisecond before grinning and looking back down at his desk.

_Well that was easy… _Sasuke looked at the people around the room again. They were all… so boring.

"_Sasuke..._ Want to be my partner?" a pink haired girl came running up to him. _Where did she come from I thought she wasn't going to…. Oh fuck it. Why bother thinking anymore._

"No." Sasuke stared as coldly as he could at the girl, and apparently he did a good job because her face almost immediately dropped. However, it again gained that damned predatory smile.

"But you _need_ a partner! So hi!" She sat down on his lap and hugged him around his neck. Sasuke looked disgusted.

_Think I'm going to puke…_ "Already have one!" He shoved her off and pointed at Naruto.

"What? _Him? _Why _him?_" Naruto grinned at the rude comment and continued writing whatever he was working on.

"Because. Now please, if you don't mind, fuck off, okay?" Sakura looked annoyed but none the less obeyed. Looking depressed and pissed at the same time she walked back to her group of friends.

_Ugh… only one who doesn't give up..._

"Heh. Girl trouble?" Naruto asked from Sasuke's left. He jumped and turned to greet his blue eyed gaze.

"If it could be considered that. More like Girl… zzz must die?"

Naruto laughed. "But there so purdy!" He made grabbing and squishing motions in the air with his hands.

"The fuck?"

The blonde just laughed again. "Man… for someone with so many girls after you, you certainly don't seem straight."

"_Excuse me?"_ Sasuke blushed angrily and gritted his teeth.

"Haha, sorry. But you don't. Nothing wrong with that though! Fags are the ones with the fashion sense!" A huge grin went along with this. Sasuke was close to retaliating but the teacher spoke up in the front of the classroom.

"Alright, you should all have your packets now. You have all gotten a research item, which you must write a paper on and do several projects on. This packet describes the projects, and your essay. It will be due in two weeks. I want _effort_ put into it. Go to the library, go to each others houses. I don't care, but trust me. If you get a bad grade you will fail this class. And if you're failing now and you get a good grade," she glanced at a select few in the class. "You may just pass. So for now, start researching in the books and such, and discussing. If it you start yelling, there will be no more projects, and there will be something much more dire put in its place."

She sat down again and the students began buzzing with laughter and chatting again. Research was getting done somehow though.

"Alright let's see…." Naruto opened up the packet that somehow appeared in front of the two boys. "We get to do our project on… Animal biology…. Wow that's broad. Cool." Naruto looked at Sasuke for his opinion. He shrugged.

"Okay… so what should we do… library? House? What?"

"Cough… My house isn't that wonderful. And out local library doesn't have much variety."

"Oh. Yay." The blonde grinned at this response.

"Well… blah." Naruto began doodling random pictures.

"Shouldn't we get like… started?" _Fuck he's really laid back… _

"No. we should totally eat people though."

Sasuke stared. "What the fuck?"

End

Reviews are sooper.


	2. Chapter 2

A:N…. okay. Cool. Lets go. O.o… DON'T OWN IT. Never will. ALL ITALICS INDICATE SASUKE'S THOUGHT. Allllll Sasuke. No one else. …. For the most part ! Shh….READ…

Disclaimer: don't own it

Start

"Yeah, totally. Let's eat some fuckers." Naruto continued doodling, not even breaking a smile. Sasuke just stared. _Is he… serious? Cannibalism anyone?_

Sasuke coughed as inaudibly as he could manage and looked to what the blonde was drawing. It looked like some sort of robot… with a dorsal fin… and tentacles…

"What…" Sasuke was confused by the drawing, and couldn't hold in the urge to scream at it. He managed to resist a majority of it, but apparently something escaped because the blonde turned to him.

"Yeah? Oh…" Naruto laughed sheepishly and looked down. "Uhm… Yeah..." Naruto blinked and poked Sasuke's cheek.

"_What_ was that for?" Naruto grinned and shrugged.

"So, seeing as we have like a minute left of this period," _When did all that time pass by? _"How would you like to perform this project? I think maybe I should go to your house for the previous stated reasons, but what do you think?"

"Yeah, you can come to my house. My brother's an ass though… so… today, or when?"

"Today works. Where do you live?"

"Uh, we could just take you right from school. No one will mind." _No ones there to mind… ugh, Sasuke. Stop being angsty._ The boy mentally slapped himself, and waited for Naruto's answer.

"Oh okay, cool. That'll work. Presuming you'll be in the car area thing, see you then."

Naruto must have had some kind of psychic ability, because just as he said that the bell rang. He got up quickly and gave a big grin to Sasuke before running off.

… _Wow. Something was really weird there. He's… odd._ Sasuke blinked. He had been doing that a lot lately and it was really irritating. But alas, He got up from his chair and grabbed his bag. A messenger bag he hated with all his heart, but if he didn't use it there'd be no room for all his STUFF. _Damn stuff… damn science… what the fuck._

He headed out of the classroom and walked down the hall. A few people, mostly girls said something or another to him… He heard only a select few words. Something about sex, something about god, something about… a penguin, what? _People are so fucked up..._

He eventually reached his next class, only being mobbed by Sakura and Ino once- An actual record. Sakura must have still been feeling down about the previous episode in science... or something.

"Hey, Sasuke! Are you sure about tonight? I mean... talked to Gaara and them and they kinda got pissed. They want you to go. And there sick of your well... brooding." _Oh that's right... Kiba's in this class with me... Yay for PE... _Sasuke made a face at his thought, but then returned to Kiba.

"No I'm not sure, but actually I have other plans. So either way I _can't _go."

"Ohmygod? You got a girlfriend? No fucking way." The sarcasm in the his friend's voice was unmistakable.

"Yeah, totally got a girlfriend. And I'm going out with her tonight. And then I'm going to fuck her so hard. Oh yeah."

Kiba laughed and literally pet the black haired boy on the head. Something he certainly did not appreciate, but didn't mention. "Well whatever your doing fine. But seriously man, you need to cheer up." Sasuke glared. He didn't need to cheer up, he was plenty happy. He just didn't _look_ it.

The two walked into the locker room, Kiba yelling about penguins to a few other boys in the room. _Again with the penguins... Am I missing something today? I must be right? Ugh... _They reached their lockers within ten seconds, and were dressing out in another thirty.

"What'd we have to do in science?" Kiba asked as he pulled his shirt over his head.

"Basically nothing. Partner assignment, and get to work on that for the whole period." Kiba gaped.

"Partner assignment? In Ms. Hitler's class? You're kidding."

"No. Shocking isn't it?" Sasuke pulled his PE shorts on, and sat on the bench, waiting for the coach to call the class out.

"Who'd you work with?"

"That Naruto kid- you know the one right?"

"Yeah... everyone loves him. He's nice." Kiba grinned. _... What the fuck is with this effect he seems to have? It's like the grinning syndrome or something._

The boys were all eventually called out to the track and asked to run a few laps. They mostly did it with ease, a few had trouble. Sasuke was reluctant to even lift his foot, but managed to come in around fifth place among all the students.

He heard a hacking cough behind him as someone finished there laps not long after him. "So, you're here too?"

Sasuke spun around to a mop of golden hair. It was Naruto, grinning up at him with that fox like grin._ What? Where did he come from! _Sasuke stared blankly.

"I've never seen you in this class before. Sooo," The blonde poked Sasuke in the side, hard. And because he wasn't expecting it, what was he going to do, sit there? No. He screamed, loud enough for everyone to here, and enough to turn there big heads.

It took about a millisecond before Naruto got over the shock of what just happened, and then burst out laughing. He was pointing directly at Sasuke, who was turning around slowly. The black haired boy was holding his shirt close to his heart, and his eyes were as wide as saucers.

"HAHA. Who would have thought that Sasuke, bad boy, all the girls want, _Sasuke, _would be so easy to scare?" Naruto then proceeded to fall on the ground laughing. Sasuke still looked shocked, His eyes still wide and dilated. It took one look from the laughing Naruto however to make him angry.

"What... the HELL. Was that for!"

"Ha..." the blonde seemed to be having extreme trouble breathing... "ha... didn't think... you'd FREAK out..."

"Weh-!" Sasuke was speechless. He wasn't angry for some reason, and he wanted to laugh with the blonde. But he had a reputation to uphold! He couldn't just... laugh.

"Woo..." Naruto got up finally, after a good five minutes of laughing. He looked at Sasuke and chuckled a bit. "Ha... that was fun. Now what are we supposed to be doin'?"

Sasuke blinked. _Oh fuck...school duh. PE duh. Don't get distracted, DUH._ "I don't know. But it would appear the majority of the class is over there." Sasuke pointed to the group of kids in bright red shirts.

"Ah! Good point, let's go!" Naruto grabbed the dark haired boy and ran towards the rest of the students. The coach was explaining that the kids were to play some game. Apparently everyone had to tie ribbons around there waists, with ribbons falling down around there butt and crotch. And then, everyone had to get the other kids' crotch ribbons off them, and the last one standing won.

"Ooh... this is like just some setup to make me be damned to embarrassment and annoyance..." Sasuke sighed.

"Hmmm? You say something?

"ah... No..." A cough. _This is so dumb... I feel so out of control..._

End

Please review?


	3. Chapter 3

A:N... kinda short... review?... shorter chapter

Disclaimer: ... I don't own it!

start

The game in gym was interesting to say the least. Several guys nearly got there cocks pulled off, and several girls just escaped from being raped. After not long the coach figured out it was an awful idea for the kids to play this game, and allowed them to have a free day. _Gay, gay, gay, gay, boring... _Sasuke sighed. He really didn't like this class, and now that it was a free day he was walking the track and being bored.

Sasuke looked up from walking and looked for anyone else walking. There was basically no one except for a few girls and the really scrawny kids who liked video games. Obviously, this left him with no one to talk to.

"Hmm... I wonder where Naruto went..." Sasuke looked around for the bright blob of blonde hair and eventually found it playing basketball with some guys Sasuke didn't know. He sighed. _Man... I was hoping to kill the boredom for once. Guess not. _With that he kept walking, though now a little sad.

The rest of the class and day passed slowly. Sasuke was bored out of his mind and glared at any whore who came near him. He didn't know why, but he just didn't feel like dealing with talking at the moment. He almost wished he was being exposed to the grinning syndrome again so he could cheer up.

_Five minutes five minutes... STOP DRONING! Ugh..._ The math teacher was going on and on about something about factorials and there was only five minutes left of class. Sasuke was horribly anxious to get out of the room and get the fuck home, but these last precious five minutes seemed to be passing at an unbearably slow rate.

"Alright, for homework complete problems one through 50. We'll be checking it Monday for a quiz grade." Sasuke spun around to face the teacher. _A quiz grade! Are you fucking me! I don't know what's been going on! DAMNIT... why am I so fucking anxious...? _

Sasuke nearly puked when the bell rang, but got up and left calmly, somehow. He speed walked to where he usually waited for his brother to pick him up, ignoring any "Hey Sasuke!"s or taps on the shoulder. He eventually reached the wall he waited by and laid down. He was tired and really anxious feeling... like he was going to puke but he couldn't figure out why.

"Hey, Sasuke! Wake up!" Sasuke opened his eyes in a start, but before he could find the person who screamed, he was pushed off the wall he had been laying on.

"What the fuck!" Sasuke looked up and tried to see who had pushed him, but couldn't see due to the sun blinding him.

"Haha! You were sleeping you know. You shouldn't sleep in public; someone will rape and kill you!" It was then that the blonde's face came into view. He was grinning like he always seemed to, and also holding up Sasuke's bag. Obviously trying to reinforce his point of Sasuke's things being stolen.

"Give that back..."

"Heh, but-" before Naruto could say his reason to not give it back, Sasuke managed to grab it out of his grasp. The blonde pouted and Sasuke only glared. _He's so weird... _

"Well, who's picking us up?" Naruto chirped after a second of pouting.

"My brother..."

"Hmmm... what's his car look like?"

"Black and blue and small..." _Why is he curious of this stuff?_

Naruto made a weird face and squinted his eyes. "Okay then. About when will he be here?"

"Not long... don't worry." _Questions, questions, questions... _

"Kay, kay." Naruto did the cursed grin again, and the two boys sat on the wall waiting for Sasuke's brother to show. They spoke a bit, about nothing interesting, and within twenty minutes Sasuke's brother had appeared in a dark car with blue accents.

"C'mon." Sasuke rushed Naruto to the car and they got in, Sasuke in the front and Naruto squashed in the small space for storage in the "back seat".

Itatchi drove off before Sasuke had time to close the door, and was speeding down the main road before either of the two younger boys realized it.

"Who's that?" he asked in a monotone to Sasuke. He obviously didn't care too much if he let the blonde in the car without questioning in the beginning.

"Friend. We have to do a project." Sasuke mimicked his brother's monotone and Naruto just blinked. He could tell the brothers had an odd, or bad, relationship.

The rest of the ride was unbearably quiet, for seemingly everyone but Itatchi.

"Alright. This is stupid. Music time." Naruto said after five minutes, and reached for the radio dial. Sasuke panicked, but couldn't reach Naruto in time. He had turned the radio to some channel and it was blasting loud music.

Itatchi coughed and veered to the side of the road not five seconds after the music turned on. He calmly turned the volume all the way down and turned to Naruto.

"What's your name?"

Naruto's eyes widened. "Uh... Naruto..."

Itatchi grinned. "Well. That's very nice Naruto. Naruto. Nice name. I like it." The older Uchiha grabbed Naruto's face. "You know. I hate when anyone touches my car. I really hate it."

"Itatchi... stop." Sasuke knew where this was going to lead to. _Freaking pervert older brother... raping my friends... then they never come back..._

"Heh..." Itatchi released Naruto's face. "Fine little brother. But one more mess up."

"Yes big brother." _Fuck whore bitch horror. I hope he fucking DIES._

Itatchi started the engine back up and Sasuke looked at Naruto sympathetically. He mouthed that he'd explain later and that he was really sorry.

_Goddamnit... goddamnit... fucking die Itatchi... fucking die... someone shoot me..._ Sasuke wanted to die so much right now... he didn't know why... but goddamn Itatchi.

End

A/N: ... itatchi's not gonna actually rape any of sasuke's friends.. sasuke;s just over dramatic...

review? please?


	4. Chapter 4

A/N:... I dunno I just like putting these things here.. oh wait I got a lot of reviews this time. You people win. Oh.. and Kyorocks34! Itatchi isn't gonna be gay! Hes just gonna be a sex obsessed pervert. Theres a difference. And he has a girl friend. So yeah... ohmygod. Why are you people reading this?

DI...SCLAIMER: I don't own it duh.

startstartstartstartstartstartstartstartstartstartstartstartstartstartstartstartstartstartstarttartstartstartstartstartstartstartstartstartstartstartstart

It didn't take long before the car ride was over and Itatchi pulled into a large apartment complex. It was definitely a higher end place, with flowers, and sleek windows. As soon as the car was parked Itatchi got out calmly. He grabbed a small box and left the two boys sitting in the car.

Sasuke coughed to get Naruto's attention. "I'm sorry about my brother. He likes to make me miserable. As do all siblings I suppose but in this case, he also enjoys torturing anyone I consider a friend."

Naruto stared for a moment. "Why? That's kinda inhumane..."

"I know. But if he wasn't happy, why should I be?" Sasuke attempted his only smile... a small one with no teeth showing that would basically be considered a frown unless you had seen his previous facial expression. He hated that about his face, he couldn't manage a real smile. "Well, let's go... must get started on our assignment."

Naruto nodded and the two got out of the car. Sasuke lead the way to the lobby and into the elevator, Naruto in tow.

"What floor do you live on?"

_Okay what the fuck..._ "Your going to find out as soon as I press this button, so why ask?"

Naruto looked down sheepishly. But grinned and laughed regardless. "Good point." Sasuke pressed the fifth floor's button, but noted that Naruto hadn't even glanced at it. _Odd... I thought he wanted to know...?_

The elevator went up extremely quickly and as it hit the fifth floor Naruto jumped, causing extra high altitude. Sasuke stared at him even after the doors opened.

"Why did you...?"

"Cuz its fun. Duh." Naruto smiled and walked out of the elevator. Sasuke shrugged and followed, but turned the opposite direction of the blonde.

"Wrong way..."

"Huh? Ack!" Naruto spun around and sprinted to catch up to Sasuke (which wasn't very far as he was only five feet away) and then shoved his hands in the pockets of his sweatshirt.

Sasuke blinked. "Fucking weird..."

"Pardon?" Naruto managed to say this in a perfect British accent somehow.

"Uh nothing?" This lead to an awkward moment of silence, Naruto's blue eyes staring Sasuke down accusingly. Sasuke shrugged after a few seconds and glared. He continued to walk towards his and his brother's door, but before he made it Naruto, or possibly someone else jumped on him, bringing him to the floor.

"Sooo, what did you say?"

Sasuke's eyes widened. W_hat the hell is wrong with this kid... _"I didn't say anything! Now get off me!"

"Not until you tell me what you said." Naruto managed to bring his legs up Indian style to sit on Sasuke more comfortably.

"I didn't say _anything. Ohmygod."_

Apparently this was hilarious because Naruto broke out laughing before Sasuke could finish his final word. "WHAT THE HELL. Okay. Get off of me _Now_."

"Aww... but your so comfy Sasu-Chan."

"Excuse me? My name is not _Sasu-Chan_. It's Sasuke. No fucking variations." Naruto grinned at the black haired boy's annoyed glare. He seemed to be getting some kind of _amusement _out of this.

Sasuke was almost glad when his brother came waltzing down the hall. Almost. The older Uchiha stared for a brief second at the two boys, on top of the other, but although not in a sexual position, Itatchi must have taken it as one.

"You two really ought to do such things in a room. Not out in a hall where old women can come and have you arrested for indecent exposure." Itatchi looked so arrogant standing there. It bothered Sasuke to no end.

"Shuttup, whore brother. Where are you going? Huh? With your slutty girl friend to some club so you can catch another penile disease!" Sasuke knew he shouldn't have said it, but his anger got in the way. And now he knew he'd regret it, horribly.

Itatchi pulled his little brother by the collar from underneath Naruto, Right up to eye level. "Little brother, you don't seem to realize I have full and total control over you, do you?" He sighed lightly and grinned, but not like Naruto's grin. It was a predatory grin, worse than the ones the girls at school wore. "Well, considering you have your little boyfriend over and I need to leave now, I'll decide what to do with you later." He dropped his brother on his bottom, and walked away, looking extremely arrogant.

Naruto was staring. He was shocked... How could someone who seemed... He didn't even know right now. That just didn't seem proper brother.. ness?

Sasuke sighed and turned to Naruto. "Sorry about that..." He tried a smile, and got up to brush his ass off. _Damn Itatchi... damn damn damn Itatchi... _

Naruto grinned back. "It's fine! I suppose brothers are stupid huh?"

"...You have one?" Sasuke blinked. He wouldn't have guessed that.

"No... But I guess I can imagine." Naruto smiled. He had to smile right now; otherwise the weird silence would have occurred.

"Hmm, kay... Well come on... My door's just a few down."

The two walked in a comfortable silence to Sasuke's door, number 58.

"Aww... I was hoping you'd be number 69."

Sasuke coughed violently and faulted. "Uh, no... sorry... that's up there." He pointed to the ceiling, indicating the next floor up. Naruto grinned still. _Man, what the fuck is with all this smiling? _

Sasuke unlocked the door and they walked in. It was nicely decorated in black and red leather, looking very contemporary. There was a large window across from the door which Naruto ran straight to.

Sasuke was expecting him to say something along the lines of "Wow!" but he remained silent as he stared out the wall sized window. The black haired boy shrugged and put his damned messenger bag down, and got a soda out of the fridge.

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Ah sure..." Naruto finally turned from the window and walked to the kitchen nook. "What do you have?"

"Coke, root beer, beer, but you shouldn't have that... uh, water?"

"I'll have coke, thanks."

Sasuke handed him the can and walked to the large black leather couch. He sat and stared out in space for a moment, sipping at his root beer, and then turned to Naruto. "Okay... so how are we gonna do the project?"

"Oh ya... that... let's see..." Naruto dropped his things where he was standing and sat on a chair next to the large couch. "Well, we should start with research! AHOY INTERNET!.. where's your computer?"

Sasuke sighed, and lead him to his personal room, where his computer was.

endendendendendendendendendnednendnendnednenendendendendendendendendendendendendendendenednendenfdendendend

an;... okay im very tempted to make Itatchi.. molest and or rape Sasuke in the next chapter.. or whore him. Or anything. But of course I wont if people are like "omg you sicko" but... I want to so ... ? opinions?

REVIEW YOU FUCKERS. : D


End file.
